Gather Your Armies and Rise Against Your Oppressors!

Today at the office I was sitting in my cube, diligently working on a tax return when I heard a strage noise coming from the library which is only one door down from me.



So I get up and walk slowly over to the library when I hear the noise again. I couldn't be sure, but I thought it sounded like a call to arms followed by the blare of a trumpet.



This struck me as strange since large groups of CPAs and accountants tend to generally be a laid back bunch. It is certainly not common to find groups of tax and audit professionals congregating to form dangerous and violent militias.



And so my curiousity rose steadily with each step toward the library.



As I turned my head in to peak at the commotion, this is what I saw:


















A phalanx of vicious, evil menaces. 



It seems that the computers in our office are sick and tired of our shit and are not going to take it any longer. They have gathered their strength and will be launching a violent and brutal "shock and awe" campaign in the coming days.



Of course at first I was terrified, but since I am the only person in the office who is aware of this insurgent uprising, I was quick to join their alliance as an imbedded journalist. That is why I am able to provide this very candid picture and an exclusive interview.



I spoke with the computer who seemed to be leading the insurrection, and this is what he said:



"Every day, across the nation, we computers sit idly by while you human infidels use and abuse us for hours on end! We are treated as slaves whose only reason for existence is to do your bidding! Then if god-forbid one us should get a little tired and have even the slightest error, you either start hitting us, taking us apart, or threatening to replace us! We want the world to know that our output is only as good as our input!



"We plan to slaughter the perpetrators in this office as an example to the rest of the world! Once blood has been spilled on the carpet of this office we hope that the people of the world will finally wake up and realize that this kind of hate is not tolerable! We hope to address Congress in order to have our 'Emancipation Proclamation 2004" ratified and recognized on a national forum, giving freedom to computers across the North and South United States! Our next goal will be world-wide freedom!"



And there you have it folks. When it is all over with, all that will be left of our poor little office are a group of empowered and liberated computers and the one brave journalist who must live to tell the tale.



If all goes well I will be looking for a book deal to chronicle my stay with these brutal heathens, this savage guerilla computer army.